This Love
by IamThunderMonkey
Summary: Attraction: The strongest form of emotion. Now, people do say that opposites acttract...but these two never suspected it to be them. Will this change bring out the better in the two, or make things worse? Chapter 4 now up. PLEASE READ! Rating MAY change.
1. Moving on, crossing paths

Moving on…and crossing paths. Chapter 1© Christa Price, August 2005

_Gonorrhea. And I have it._

Emma still couldn't bring herself to talk to Jay since the ravine"incident" last year. It was more than her just being sick. It was the fact that after being able to be so free with Jay, she still had feelings she wasn't allowing herself to come to grips with. Arguing the matter with herself, she decided what was best…or so she thought.

_I don't feel like that. And especially not for Jay Hogart. It was a stupid mistake. _

It was a week before school started, and Emma was running around, making sure each of her school supplies were in perfect order.

"Mom! Mom? Where'd I put my bag?" she yelled from the living room.

"Next to the door. Right where you left it on the last day of school," replied Spike coming from the kitchen.

She was holding Jack, Emma's baby brother, who was wriggling for freedom from her grip.

Putting him down Spike added, "Em, why don't you just relax? School doesn't start 'til Monday. You've got time." She put her hand on her shoulder and smiled reassuringly.

"Yeah, I just wanted to be ready. I really want things to be better this year."

She went and sat on the couch, sighing deeply.

---

The night before school started, Emma hardly slept. Individual thoughts kept shoving themselves into her head.

Thoughts along the lines of: '_What if people are still talking? I don't know if I can deal with that' _and '_Seeing Jay Hogart is the last thing I need' _still lingered there in the back of her mind, preventing her from any chance of rest.

She sighed and turned over, looking at the clock. 3:19 in the morning and still so much to think about. Finally, when the alarm went off at 7:30, Emma got up, dressed, and went upstairs. Spike was already in the kitchen, along with Snake and Jack. Her parents smiled and each greeted her with a "Morning Em."

"Morning," she said, stifling a yawn.

"Sleep ok?" asked Snake between a bite of eggs.

"Uh, not great. I just had a nightmare, that's all. It woke me up," she reassured them, noting the instant look of worry they seemed to get whenever something bothered her.

"Honey, are you sure you're ok? I know things have been hard for you lately. And I--."

"Yes, mom," she interrupted, "I'm fine. Really. Listen, I'll be home a little late, I wanted to meet up with Manny after school."

"Ok…but don't stay out too late. You know how I worry."

"Yeah, I've noticed that," chuckled Emma, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

She grabbed her tan messenger bag and walked out the door. It was a particularly sunny day, which made Emma smile in approval. Breathing in the crisp morning air, she jogged down the front steps of her house and began the walk to school. It was refreshing, being by herself, outdoors, no worries nagging at her conscience. At least she had this time of innocence before meeting people's stares in the halls.

When Emma reached the front steps, she stopped dead, staring at the sign that read 'Degrassi Community School' with a knot in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure if it had been from her lack of sleep, or her eagerness to put the past behind her. Perhaps it was a combination of both. She was so focused on the sign that she didn't notice Manny Santos appear in front of her, smiling.

"Hey, Em!" she exclaimed happily.

Emma jumped about a foot in surprise.

"Huh? Oh, Manny! Hey!"

"How was your vacation? Did you do anything fun?" inquired Manny.

She had gone to Spain with her family for _her _vacation.

"Uhh, no, not really. Same old thing. How was Spain?"

"It was a lot more fun than being stuck here, but I have to say I'm glad to be back. A plane ride with my parents isn't what you'd call invigorating," she laughed.

"Haha, I bet," Emma replied with a smile.

They locked arms and walked into the school together talking happily.

---

Jay pulled up to the school in his orange Civic just in time to see Emma and Manny disappear inside. Turning up the volume on his radio, he sat, transfixed with the spot where the two girls had just been.

"Dude, are you just gonna sit there all day looking like a zombie?" came a voice, breaking Jay's trance.

Looking out his window, he saw Spinner standing there, waiting impatiently for him.

"C'mon! I don't wanna be late. I don't want anything to happen to make Ms. H. mad," he said with a fair amount of anxiety in his voice.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Overachiever," smirked Jay. "Shouldn't you be somewhere playing teacher's pet to Mrs. Kwan or something?"

"Haha," he said sarcastically. "Look, I just don't wanna mess this up, okay?"

"Yeah, right," Jay laughed. He got out of his car and walked casually up the steps and into the school followed by Spinner.

When he got to his locker, Spinner spotted Ms. Hatzilakos walking towards her office and jumped at an attempt for brown-nosing. "Listen, man, I'll see you later." And he darted off to catch up with the principal.

Jay raised an eyebrow and stated, "That's it. He's lost his mind."

He continued onto his own locker and placed his black messenger bag inside. He closed it to reveal Alex leaning there, waiting. His eyes narrowed on her, and he walked past without acknowledgement.

"Jay, wait. I was hoping we could talk," she said.

For the first time he could remember, Alex seemed eager to talk to him. It made him feel sort of macho.

He stopped and turned on his heel. Raising his eyebrows he said,"Well? I'm listening."

"I was just….well, I thought that maybe…"

"Maybe what, Alex?"

"…Maybe…you wanted to…go to a party with me tonight?"

His expression softened a little and a smile brimmed on his lips.

He eyed her suspiciously, and when he couldn't seem to find a catch, nodded.

"Okay," Alex said.

"Okay."

---

"Mmmm…food," stated J.T. as he joined Emma, Manny, Toby, and Liberty at lunch that day.

"Mm, I second that," gulped Toby through a bite of hamburger.

"You two are like human garbage disposals," Manny declared, laughing.

It had turned out to be an ok day so far, no one seemed to be staring, and Emma was relieved to hear that new gossip was circulating throughout the school.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah, I mean, it's nothing huge, but I heard Jay and Alex were back together," Manny said unenthusiastically.

At Jay's name, Emma's stomach tightened. But, to her surprise, it wasn't out of hate.

"Oh…"

"Something wrong, Em?"

"No…I just…," she trailed off, looking at a far table in the cafeteria where Jay had just sat down with Alex, their lips now locked in a passionate kiss. "I just didn't expect her to take Jay back."

Watching them made her stomach jump uncomfortably. Her cheeks were hot, and her whole body stiffened.

_Am I... jealous? I can't be. It's Jay. But…what if I am?_

Shaking the thought, Emma stood up.

"I have to go. I was supposed to help Snake with something," she lied, leaving the group looking confused.

Across the cafeteria Jay had seen Emma staring at him. But what she didn't know was that he was staring back. Even kissing Alex he had been watching her. He had become fixated.

_I sure know how to pick 'em, _he thought to himself, watching Emma's blond hair swaying around the corner with the rest of her. He couldn't help staring.

"Something interesting about the wall?" Alex chimed in. "Hello? Earth to Jay."

He brought his attention back to the cafeteria and Alex, kissing her again deeply.

"Well, I missed you too," she said raising her eyebrows.

---

Emma couldn't face Jay. It was just too hard.

_If I go up to him, I'll probably end up jumping him,_ she thought to herself walking to Media Immersion a few days later.

Every day Emma would watch Jay from afar. It was like some kind of fairytale romance; she, the Cinderella character hoping for her prince to come, and he looking for the perfect princess. Sure a few details would have to be changed, but still.

And every day Jay would kiss Alex, and be with Alex, not with her. It seemed like maybe she was reading into her emotions too much.

_It's a crush, not even that. It's me mistaking disgust for a crush._

When Friday rolled around, Emma was more than happy to embrace the weekend. When the bell rang she hopped out of her seat and ran all the way to her locker, eager to collect her bag and books to head home to isolate herself. However, things could _never _be that easy. She was in such a rush she didn't notice Jay standing near her locker and collided head on. She was temporarily in shock.

_Oh my god, _she thought as she stood up.

"Whoa, Green Peace," he said, bringing her back to reality, "late for a peace rally?"

"Sorry. Just wanna get home."

"Right," he replied, getting up and brushing himself off.

Emma sighed and brushed past Jay, leaving him standing alone.

"Next time I might sue!" he called, not moving, but simply smiling to himself.

_You're an idiot. A real class act. Next time I might sue? What is that? Agh…_


	2. A not so perfect home life

I don't own Degrassi, but the story is mine! Enjoy.

A not so perfect home life – Chapter 2

Everybody knew Jay Hogart as the guy who picked on anyone and everyone. He came, he bullied, and he went on his merry way. If only his life were that simple.

As he drove home, Jay replayed his bumping into Emma over and over again in his mind. He pictured the look of shock on her face as she hit the ground and the nervousness in her voice. It was all he could think of. Pulling into the driveway of his one-story home he hopped out and went directly inside. He was greeted by the all too familiar fighting of his parents.

"—if your drunk ass ever got off the goddamned couch to look for a job, maybe we'd have some money to spend!" came his mother.

"Oh, don't you dare throw this back in my face!" his father retorted. "I make enough to get us by, but you have to go and spend it faster than I can make it! Try for once, just once, not to buy another ugly piece of clothing to cover your ass!"

Jay watched the quarrel for a minute tiredly, then continued down the hall and into his room. Throwing his messenger bag, he collapsed on the bed. He reached under it and pulled out a bottle of bourbon. Taking a drink, Jay looked around.

The room was small, with a few posters of women in bikinis and different car magazine articles covering the otherwise bare walls. In one corner was a desk with a new-looking computer sitting on top of it. Next to the desk was his closet. There were clothes strewn everywhere, so the floor was barely visible. And last but not least was his bed, low to the ground with a black comforter thrown on top. It was obvious that he spent as little time in there as possible. He got up and walked back into the living room, looking around for his feuding parents. When he saw no sign of them, he shrugged and walked out the door, taking the bourbon with him.

Jay drove around in his Civic, bottle in hand, taking advantage of this quiet time he had. The sun was setting now, leaving red and orange streaks in the sky. It almost looked as though he could drive through them, taking him who knows where. He would be glad to get away from _that_. That rivalry he called a home. Only a few of his closest friends knew what went on there, but it would be a little weird actually talking about it to Alex or Towerz. So he kept it to himself, not thinking much of it. He was used to the yelling, or more… accustomed to it. Having a drunk for a father didn't bother him much either, he figured that he didn't need him anyway. Besides, it was too late for a father figure to "step in" now. He'd convinced himself that he was too far gone for that kind of help, or any for that matter. So he dealt with it by taking his dad's booze when he'd pass out and drinking his problems away by the ravine. Oh, the irony of it all. The one thing he hated most was the thing he was slowly becoming.

---

Down by the ravine a fire was burning slowly and the usual people were perched around it. Jay even saw Amy going into the old black van with a guy he didn't recognize. She smiled smugly at him before her company closed the sliding back door.

Jay sat himself on his usual picnic table and took a nice big swig from his now half-empty bottle. He cringed slightly at the powerful liquor, then rested his elbows against the top of the table casually. His eyes were closed, mind working hard. A few minutes later he heard the sound of a car driving up, but thinking nothing of it settled himself more onto the table. The next thing he knew, the loud, cursing slurs of his father were closing in on him. Jerking his eyes open, Jay watched his father stumble over to him, hiccupping and talking to himself indecisively.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here with _my _bourbon?" he managed to ask between hiccups. "What the hell—"

"Dad, what're you doing here?" asked Jay tiredly. This seemed like somewhat of a usual thing for them. People around him had backed away, looking alarmed.

hiccup"Damnit, Jay! What gives you the idea that you can just—"hiccup"—take my booze whenever you feel like 'hanging out'?" His father was furious now.

"Dad…dad will you just sit down?"

"Get in the car…get…in…the…goddamned car!" his father gasped.

"No. Just sit down. You're drunk."

"You don't tell me what to do, boy! I'm _your _father. I drove all the way here, and I can do it back again."

"Fine. Go then." Jay pushed his father, who fell. The people watching gasped, but Jay just shook his head. "You're pathetic," he said. He turned and stalked away without a single backward glance.

"Jay, get back here. Now. Jay!"

Jay drove away, leaving his father stumbling back to the road, screaming.

It was late now, after midnight. The houses and street lights were only a blur as Jay sped past them in rage. 70, 80, 90 miles per hour on the main road. He focused his eyes on whatever destination lay ahead, and nothing else. It was frightening, not knowing what to do. Going home would only prove a bigger struggle than it had to be. The ravine was obviously out. Alex didn't seem like an option this late and he didn't know where Spinner lived. Sighing, he went to the last place he thought he'd find himself looking for any kind of condolence.

---

The Nelson residence was dark and quiet, with the exception Snakes considerably loud snoring coming from the upstairs bedroom. Jay wondered if he ought to just find somewhere else, it looked as though everyone was asleep. _It's worth a shot, right?_ He got out of the car and walked quietly over to Emma's ground-level window. Knocking, he let himself in.

"Psst. Green Peace?" he whispered, lowering himself down into her room.

There was Emma, breathing softly on her pillow. She looked so peaceful; Jay couldn't remember seeing her this way. He knelt down next to her bed, contemplating whether to wake her. Yawning, she turned over and opened her eyes.

"Jay?" she covered herself with her blankets, backing away. "What the—whoa!" she yelled, toppling off the bed.

He laughed, offering her his hand. Accepting it, Emma asked, "Jay, what are you doing in my room?"

"What? Is it against the law to sneak into your room in the middle of the night?" he replied.

"Uh, yeah. It's called breaking and entering."

"Hmm…whoops."

Emma gestured for Jay to sit on the bed. Following her directions, he made himself comfortable. He smelled the sheets; they had a sweet fragrance to them. Sighing slightly to himself, he watched Emma take a seat in the corner of the room.

Emma was a bit annoyed and a little curious as to why Jay Hogart was sitting on her bed. She bit the inside of her cheek and looked at him. He seemed, of all things, innocent; he looked tired, worried, and even _scared_.

"Jay," Emma began, "are you alright? Did something happen?"

He was now conscious of the fact that he was totally vulnerable. No witty remark brimmed on the tip of his tongue, no smart alack joke. It was just the two of them, and a look of frustration flashed in his eyes.

"I'm tired, Emma," he said.

She looked at him, confusedly.

"Jay, I don't under—"

"And I'm sorry. For…everything."

Jay Hogart had just apologized. This was definitely a first. He glanced at her, and, when she didn't react, stood up. He made for the window without another word, but turned around instead. Emma was expressionless. She just sat and stared at him.

"I went to the ravine tonight," Jay said. "I came home, and then I left again." He glanced over at Emma; she seemed to be listening. "Grabbed a bottle and walked out the door. My dad followed me there. He was more interested in getting the bourbon back than me. Not that I'm really complaining; I'd rather he slept all day anyway," he confessed.

He turned to Emma, whose brown eyes were fixed on him. It was funny; the guy who had taken advantage of her, the guy she vowed to hate was also the guy she felt the closest to. He had confessed how he felt to _her._ She looked at the ground, unsure of what to say.

"Jay- I…" she began, "I didn't know."

He chuckled softly and started for the window once more. "I know," he said. And with that he bode Emma goodnight, climbed out the window, and drove off in his Civic.

---

He knew he'd have to go home eventually. There _wasn't_ anywhere else now. So, driving as slowly as possible, Jay turned onto his street and made for his house. The living room light was on, and he could hear his father.

_Great_, Jay thought to himself. _Just perfect._

A twinge of regret surfaced before he went inside, fully aware of what was about to happen.

Hearing the door open, his father bellowed, "Jay! Get over here. Now!"

Tilting his head back he walked into the living room.

"What?" he asked defiantly.

"How dare you push me like that! I have a mind to--!" he said.

"Out all hours of the night, with alcohol too. Are you stupid? You could've wrecked the car!" his mother added, walking up to him.

"Thanks for the concern, mom. I'm going now," Jay said.

"You're not going anywhere Jason, ever!" she screamed.

"I have school in a few hours. Or did you forget about that?"

"You're wasting you're time Jay. You won't graduate. You and I both know that," came his father.

And then it happened. In an instant, he had lost all self-control. Jay turned and flung himself at his father with such force that they both flew into the couch. As they rolled around, Jay's mother screamed about breaking the furniture and getting blood on the carpet. _Whack._ He hit his father in the mouth. _Slam._ His father punched him in the stomach. _Crash. _He slammed his father into the coffee table. _Crack. _He broke Jay's nose. Blood covered his face, and, wiping some away, he got up.

"I'm not done with you boy!" his father screamed.

"Yeah, but I'm done with you. I'm gone," he said.

Jay grabbed his bag, keys, and a towel for his face; he looked at his mother, who was frantically wiping at a blood stain in the carpet. That was it, the last straw. His nose throbbed, but he knew he had to leave. So, starting the car, he headed for Bennett Park.


	3. A nightmare come true

**A nightmare come true- Chapter 3**

School the next week was more awkward than usual. Emma and Jay avoided each other with more precision now; ever since his late night visit just days before. Emma sat in the back of her homeroom playing with a pencil, ignoring a persistent Manny and nosey JT to the best of her ability.

"Em," Manny whispered, "Em? What's going on? You seem really out of it."

"Yeah, I mean you've barely said a word all day. Are you ok?" JT piped up.

"JT, Manny, Emma, would you mind being quiet? Is that at all possible?" asked Mr. Simpson from the front of the room. He was becoming irritated more often these days.

"Shh," was Emma's reply.

Manny sighed while JT shrugged and turned to an English assignment. Emma was too preoccupied to explain her after hours rendezvous with Jay. Home had become hectic. Snake hadn't been well, Jack was talking now (and loudly at that), and there seemed to be none of the seclusion she yearned for there. Plus, to wrap it all up, she couldn't stop thinking. About Snake, school, _Jay_, and anything and everything else. Home had actually turned into a living hell.

Snake left early that day, as Emma found out walking into Media Immersion after lunch.

"Emma," said the young sub, "Your dad, he wasn't feeling well. He signed you out when he left."

"But I—"Emma protested.

"Miss Nelson, go home."

Nodding, Emma picked up her messenger bag and headed out the door. The sun was at its peak, and rays of sunshine were lighting Emma's worried face. She spotted Jay and his 'gang' leaning against his car, loud music booming through the sixteen speakers equipped inside. He apparently didn't see his second chance as an opportunity, but a waste of time. He nodded his head at her, and she smiled slightly in return. As he turned his head towards Alex, Emma noticed his mangled nose; looking swollen, bruised, and painful. She cringed and thought _I bet it was just another stupid fight._

"Hey, Nelson," came a familiar voice from behind her.

Emma turned to see Alex and Towerz walking away, Jay standing alone next to his car.

"Yeah, what?" she replied.

"Need a ride?" he asked, nodding his head towards the orange Civic.

She stood for a minute, thinking it over, and said finally, "Yeah, I guess I could use one."

---

Jay hopped into the drivers' seat, putting the key into the ignition. Emma got in the passenger seat as the engine turned over, setting her bag at her feet.

"Y'know, you don't have to do this," Emma said as Jay started out of the student parking lot.

"Yeah. I was on my way out anyway," he lied.

"What about them?" Emma was referring to an unhappy-looking Alex and Towerz.

"What about 'em? I told them I had some stuff to do."

"Right."

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, with Emma looking over at Jay curiously every now and then. When Jay pulled the Civic into the Nelson driveway, Emma hopped out quickly.

"Uh, thanks. I really appreciate it," she said.

"Yeah, whatever," he replied.

"Do you wanna come inside for a minute?" she asked embarassedly.

Jay looked over at her. It was actually hard to resist the offer when she had that look in her eyes. It said something along the lines of: _No strings attached. This isn't a trap. _He rolled his eyes sarcastically before turning off the car and following Emma up the porch steps.

The atmosphere was thick as the two stepped into the little house. It was a mixture of stress, illness, and worry; so heavy it was almost tangible. From the kitchen they heard the rustling of papers and Spikes' worried mutters. The bedroom upstairs was oddly silent, with the exception of an occasional cough or groan. Jack slept soundly on the couch in a tight ball, and Emma walked over to him, scooping the toddler into her arms. He opened his eyes slightly and yawned.

"Hi Emmy," he said.

"Hey, Jack," she whispered back.

He put his small arms around Emma's thin shoulders, and she held him protectively. Just like a mother would. Jay watched as she disappeared upstairs with her brother in hand, putting him to bed. When she reappeared she looked unsettled. Taking the steps two at a time she entered the kitchen, leaving Jay stranded helplessly lost in the quiet living room. Small and frantic whispers erupted from the enclosed dining area moments later, making Jay feel obsolete.

_She brought me here…for what, exactly? _**So she can ditch me in her own house. **_Something's going on. _**Well, nice observation, Einstein. **_She obviously wanted me here_** ...Cough...**

As his mind quarreled over his purpose there, the whispers flooding from the other room turned into a hurried talk, and then arguing, and finally one step below yelling. He caught bits and pieces of the conversation, putting the puzzle together on his own.

"—what d'you mean, Mom!" Emma asked, now panic-stricken.

"They don't know what it is, Em. They're guessing his progress was just the calm before the storm. He'll have to be put back on the chemo."

Jay could tell Emma's mother was fighting back tears at this point. He contemplated going into the kitchen, but thought it best to wait it out. Sitting on the couch, he placed his hands on his knees. He looked so out of place in this pleasantly compact home. What a funny thing. Jay Hogart didn't seem to fit into a picture like this one. His portrait had always consisted of arguing, fighting, sex, drinking…everything this place wasn't. Focusing his attention back on the doorway, he saw Emma hurry through, her face tear-streaked. His mind went blank, his heart sunk into a pit in his stomach, and pity settled upon him. She was so beautiful, even at her weakest.

---

Emma couldn't control her emotions anymore. She was numb. As she left her mother alone in the kitchen to sob, a huge weight felt like it had knocked the wind straight out of her. All of a sudden breathing became a burden, and her heart felt like it was going to burst through her chest at any given moment. In one afternoon her life had come to a devastating halt. She fell onto her knees near the couch, sobbing silently. Instinctively Jay went to her side, putting a near trembling hand on her shoulder.

"Emma," he said, looking over her profile, "Emma, what happened?"

She looked up at him with tears still stinging her face, and buried herself into his side.

"It's Snake. The cancer…." She sobbed, trailing off. "It's back. It's worse."

Maybe he didn't want to know what was going on after all. At this chilling information, Jay stared blankly at Emma, who was stifling sobs into his jacket. What had he gotten himself into? Twenty minutes ago he was still on the verge of calling her a freak, and now he was holding her, comforting her; or more, she clung to him and he sat there. He swallowed roughly before unsuccessfully trying to soothe her.

"Emma," he started as kindly as his cracking voice would let him, "It'll be ok."

She mumbled something about '_what if…'_ and '_he could…'_ before simply running off towards the kitchen again. He let out a sympathetic sigh before showing himself to the door.

_What a day, _thought Jay as he searched for a specific station on his radio dial. As the rock music began to boom through the speakers, he couldn't help but feel for the women of the Nelson family. All they had endured made a pretty long list to begin with, but this? It seemed so overwhelming. And this coming from someone as tough as him. As he turned a corner Jay heard his cell phone begin to play the opening music to _The Godfather_. Flipping it open he read the name flashing on the caller id: _A. Simpson_.


	4. Ripple Effect

Ripple Effect Chapter 4

Puzzled, Jay let the phone ring, curious as to what the message would be. He half-expected to hear something like: _Jay, this is Mr. Simpson. I don't know what you were thinking, coming to our home like that. I don't like you, and I'm not afraid to say it. Stay away from our family and stay away from Emma. _He cocked an eyebrow at the thought of his sickly teacher threatening him through a pathetic message. It was almost funny, picturing this scrawny man in a fighting stance. Hearing the beep on his phone, he anxiously dialed the voicemail, anticipating the mysterious message.

It was Emma's mother. She sounded hurried, persistent, annoyed, tired. The list went on.

_Hi, Jay? This is Christine Nelson, Emma's mom. I just wanted to call and say thank you for giving Emma a ride home. We both really appreciate it. Oh, and about earlier…you caught us at a bit of a hectic moment. I don't know if Em told you what happened, but she won't come out of her room now…Listen, you seem like a nice kid; maybe you could coax her into coming out? I normally wouldn't ask this of a near stranger, but, well, I'm in a bit of a tight spot. Emma'd be glad to see you right now… (Sighing) I'll leave the door unlocked. _

Jay heard a click, which signaled the end of one of the strangest messages he'd ever heard. Ever. He wasn't even sure how she had his number.

_Let me get this straight,_ he thought to himself. _She wants me to come _back**Apparently you seem like a nice kid, **came his alter-ego. _Ha._** I agree.** _Why not one of her little nature friends? _**Her mom liked you, remember? **_Emma apparently doesn't talk to her enough, then. _**It would mean alone time with her. **

He sighed, deciding this was a rare occasion. When he reached her house, it looked deserted. The car that had resided in the driveway was gone, and all the lights were out.

"Maybe no one's home," he thought out loud. _Just go inside._

He went up to the door and knocked lightly on the dark brown wood. No one answered. Trying the doorknob, he found that it was in fact unlocked. Jay opened it slowly, causing the hinges to creak eerily.

"Hello?" came Emma's hoarse voice. She walked into the living room, puffy-eyed and red-faced. "Jay. What're you doing here?" she asked, trying to avoid his eyes.

He cleared his throat and when he saw that tears were still streaming down Emma's red cheeks, couldn't help letting a feeling of pity surface. "Uh, I thought I'd be a good civilian, check up on you?"

"You're a bit out of character, don't you think?" Emma joked half-heartedly. She wiped her face and collapsed haggardly onto the couch. Jay followed suit.

"My mom called you, right?" she asked moments later.

"Yeah. I guess she's worried or something stupid like that."

"I know my mom's worried, alright? This…it just can't happen again. We can't take it," Emma fired up, tears welling up in her eyes again.

Jay wasn't sure if she was talking about them or the cancer, but either way, she was probably right. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve to go through this much pain all over again; it just shouldn't have been this way. Yet, it was, and there was nothing either Jay or Emma could do to change the fact that Snake was sick again, and this time the hope that kept the Nelson-Simpson family functioning was evaporating, disintegrating. The tension in the room was made stale by the depressing atmosphere that hovered around Emma. Jay could tell; he could sense it.

"Nice place," Jay said sarcastically, attempting to change the subject.

"Thanks," Emma sniffled, "mom really likes to keep it nice." She sat up straight and looked Jay in the eye. Her gaze against his was unbearable. He wanted so badly to make his move, right then and there. "What _are _you doing here?" Emma finished.

"I was being nice," he said, as if surprised himself.

Emma cocked her eyebrows as if to say '_yeah right'._

"Well…I'll just as easily leave." He began to move from the couch, eyeing Emma.

"No…" she trailed off. "I—it's nice to have someone around who doesn't judge me."

Jay looked at her, almost quizzically, and then gave a nod.

He owed her a debt that he was sure he would never be able to repay. He owed her so much more than just this, this pity. But, it was all he had to offer. He had never had much to give when it came to material things; emotionally he was stubborn. It took all he had to put a sympathetic hand on Emma's shoulder, rubbing it gently with his thumb. The touch of her soft skin against his rough palm became the only thing either of them noticed, and this simple, surreal act of kindness, frankly, surprised the both of them.

Jay removed his hand awkwardly when Emma got up and walked into the kitchen. Awkward. It always seemed to describe them, whatever the situation may have been. Along with anger and frustration, of course.

When she emerged from the archway, Jay noticed she was holding a note and two bottles of water. Handing him one she read the note aloud.

_Em,_

_Sorry to rush out, but the doctors said it was probably best to get Snake checked into the hospital as soon as possible. We're going to his parents' house tonight, we'll be back to pack a bag in the morning. And Joey's going to pick up Jack after you get out of school; he'll stay there until we get back. You can stay at home and I'll call when I get the chance. I love you._

_-Mom_

By the time Emma looked up from her mother's note Jay was admiring the different pictures scattered around the living room. One in particular caught his eye.

"Dracula," Emma said before taking a drink of water.

It was a black and white photo of Emma and Manny in front of the school in full costume. Manny had a pure, wide smile plastered on her face, while Emma's, Emma's didn't seem quite right. The kind of smile you give out of respect, not happiness. It was something Jay remembered well, too well.

"Yeah," he said. His eyes darted around the room, eventually landing on Emma's face. He furrowed his eyebrows in thought before saying, "I should probably get going. I need food." And it was true. He thought back to last time he had eaten…at least a day ago, maybe longer.

"I can fix you something to eat, if you want," Emma said.

"Why are you being so nice, Nelson?" Jay asked.

Emma thought for a minute. Why _was _she being so nice to him?

"I could ask the same of you," she replied, unable to think of an answer simple enough.

Jay thought. "I don't know... You were Sean's girl. I guess I've learned that you deserve a little respect."

"Since when?" she mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." She said quickly. "Are you staying?"

"I'll take a rain check, Green Peace."

"Fine. I'll see you at school then."

"Fine. And…stay out of trouble Nelson."

Emma looked at him questioningly before nodding. He lingered for a minute, and then turned for the door.

---

Jay opened the fridge. Baking soda, a carton of milk, some packaged lunch meat, a few beers. The freezer was just as disappointing; there were two things of freezer-burned ground beef and an empty ice tray inside. He searched the cabinets, but all he found were possible remnants of food. His best bet was to just go out.

Pulling up to the Dot, he found it surprisingly empty. Finally, somewhere quiet. Somewhere with food. Getting out of the car, Jay made his way inside and sat himself at a table in a corner of the restaurant.

"What'll it be?" asked his waitress moments later.

"Just a burger."

"With cheese?"

"Why not."

"Pop?"

He nodded and the waitress left without another word. He didn't recognize her; she must've been new. He could definitely say that he liked eating at the Dot more than working there. Jay thought back to his brief employment last summer.

_Hairnets. Never again._

He leaned back in his chair and studied the restaurant. It was no different physically than the last time he had been there. But it _felt_ different somehow. Maybe that's what working did to you. Gave you a different outlook on certain aspects of life, and one thing he had learned…never mix work and pleasure. Making money hadn't been so bad. But the hairnets. He shook his head in disgust as the waitress appeared with a hamburger, glass of pop, and a bottle of ketchup on her tray.

"Enjoy," she said setting in front if him.

"Yeah."

Needless to say he scarfed down that poor slab of meat in record time. He wasn't full, but it had been enough to get him by for the time being. Rummaging through his pockets, Jay pulled out a bit of spare change and tossed it onto the table. He made his way to the front register slowly and paid the bill. Once back in the confinement of his Civic, he checked the time. Twenty minutes had passed. Jay tilted his head back and groaned in annoyance, turning the ignition. It was evident that this night was not going to pass gracefully… or quickly.

---

A song played softly on the radio, and a small table lamp was lit. The only sign of life in the room were the gentle sounds of fingers tapping lightly at the keyboard, and the yawns erupting from her mouth. She read and re-read the instant message three times before deciding that action needed to be taken.

_(10:05PM)Lexxi5: R U sure Amy?_

_(10:06PM)Amez101: Alex either ur blind or u just don't see it!_

_(10:06PM)Lexxi5: she's not exactly normal amy._

_(10:08PM)Amez101: Trust me; shez got the hotts for ur man! She stares at him all day…she **watches **you 2 make out. It's gross…and she needs 2… like learn not 2 make it so obvious._

_(10:09PM)Lexxi5: she needs 2 learn not 2 look at other people's boyfriends…specially mine._

_(10:10PM)Amez101: Lexxi, what ru gonna do?_

_(10:15PM)Amez101: Alex?_

_(10:18PM)Amez101: …hello?_

_(10:20PM)Lexxi5: ill c u tomorrow, amy._

_(10:21PM)Amez5: But…_

_**Lexxi5 has signed off at 10:21 PM.**_

**---**


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